In my brokenness, I am blessed to have My God close to my heart. For the bible says in Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
I choose to seek His path and at times there is pain and difficulties that goes along with being obedient to Him. I'm beginning to view it as growing pains, like when we heal from a broken bone or another type of bodily injury. For that part of our body to become strong again, we have to experience the pain of growth and healing. I believe in time my pain will serve a purpose. Not a purpose designed for me but for Christ.
Last weekend my church concluded a two part monologue series about judgement day called, "The Bema" which is a fictional dramatic production inspired by the biblical principle in II Corinthians 5:10; "That we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due to him for the things done while in the body." You can read more about The Bema at Bible. org - The Doctrine of Rewards: The Judgment Seat (Bema) of Christ. This monologue shed light on the choice's I've been made in my lifetime. But more so, the choice's that I'm making now. The monologue concluded with these words in prayer, "Lord, this day forward, I vow to stop living for today, but to live for the day!"
My choices do matter, especially the way I choose to live my life which has been gifted to me. The poor choices, those that go against God's commands will have consequences. I can not blame anyone for my choices for I alone am responsible for each one of them, as I've made them on my own free will.
When I choose to make the right choices, the hard choices, the ones that go against what society views as acceptable, it may be very difficult, it may cause hurt and my heart may break in the process, but the end reward, the eternal reward far outweighs my temporary happiness, satisfaction or appeasement to others.
What I've come to understand is that so often we choose a temporary fix over our eternal blessings. These temporary things and fixes will not have any substance in eternity; and those temporary things and fixes are just that, "temporary." The satisfaction we attain only lasts for the moment, for a short time, and as time passes that feeling of satisfaction will fade like everything else that lacks substance. This temporary way of life becomes and endless cycle of insanity.
My journey will continue until I am called home to my Creator, my Father, my God. He is a loving one, even during times of hardship. I've had to deal with tragic events in my life, several losses, a ton of hurt and many heartaches. Today I see how each of those experiences are serving a purpose in my life. Things and quick fixes are temporary, many that have caused much of my pain. I must keep my focus on the eternal; and that is Christ. My eyes are fixed on the long term, not what can make me feel satisfied for the moment.
I no longer choose a temporary life, but choose a life that an eternal one. I no longer choose to live for today, I choose to live for "THE DAY."