Monday, March 4, 2013

♥ Surrender....again

When you pause to stop and listen to yourself what do you hear in the quiet of your mind?

When life happens, as much as I'd like to feel peace and hear the Word of God, at times I can't turn off the echos of judgment toward others, comparison, self-pity, negativity and words that tell me I'm unworthy. 

What now?

I have a two choices - Believe the lies I'm telling myself, or believe that God loves me and that I am worthy of His love.  He is all that matters.  Not how others love me, or how I allow others to make me feel because the reality is, one day they will hurt and disappoint me.

What now?

Stop.Restart.Pray. Repent. Ask for forgiveness. Forgive. Clothe myself in humility. Arm myself with the Word of God.
 Focus on Him and how He will fill my life up with His Love, Grace, and Purpose! 

Just because I've overcome one obstacle, doesn't mean that I won't be faced with another soon thereafter. My purpose isn't happiness. It's to serve Him by loving others as He would love them.

Refusing to allow my emotions to control my behavior can be a great challenge, especially when I begin the cycle of isolation, distancing and negative talk because it then transpires into something much worse.

What now?

What do I do when I find myself beginning to feel beaten? Angry? Confused? Anxious? Unworthy?

I begin by reaching out to others; those in my circle who will remind me of the amazing love God has for me. That reminder helps me make the choice to behave positively, and to climb out of the rabbit hole of darkness.
 
What now?

Just as we practice bad habits, so we must also practice good ones. REPEAT AGAIN:

Stop.Restart.Pray. Repent. Ask for forgiveness. Forgive. Clothe myself in humility. Arm myself with the Word of God.
 Focus on Him and how He will fill my life up with His Love, Grace, and Purpose! 

And again, I make the choice to surrender for the 50th time during my day. I remind myself that I must trust God; trust that he has my life mapped out perfectly, even when it feels uncertain and overwhelming.  I may lose people along the way, but God has a purpose for them as well, and their purpose may be better served in another life, not necessarily mine. I have to learn to step aside and let God do his work and that means giving up the "idea" of control that I have in my head.

When I stop fighting, trying to control my environment, my circumstances, my path  - I find peace.

So again, I MUST surrender to His way, to His plan, to His purpose.

Thank you Jesus, for accepting me, loving me, even with all my flaws... 


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