Friday, September 21, 2012

It's "Paparoni" to me ♥

The years have passed but you have not been forgotten you Paparoni. Just as I see my mamasita in me, when I look in the mirror the reflection I see is you too.

I was 14 years old when you left us.

Growing up without a father isn't easy.  For many daughters, their dad is their "Hero" and “First Love.”   They are the protectors; the man they look up to. They are the ones that they can run to for safety and always find comfort knowing that daddy will be there to take care of them no matter how hard life gets.

Growing up without him left many scars but I know that it also helped mold me into be the parent and woman I am today.

Over the years I've learned several unpleasant things about him and this shattered the image of perfection I had placed upon him. It took me a long time to accept that my Paparoni wasn't perfect but even longer to forgive the source that shared his flaws with me. And although at that time I was devastated to learn of such things, it also allowed me to be realistic ~ we are not perfect. Eventually, I came to accept that he wasn't perfect. But he was perfectly made to be my Paparoni.

God doesn't make mistakes.  Everything I know, have learned and become today is because I've been created to Gods plan.  Today I've accepted the good and bad of my Paparoni and only hope to become all the great qualities he was and learn from the poor choices he made during his life.

God already has our lives mapped out. Even through my Paparoni’s death God blessed me with another father. He may not be my biological father but he has been a great source of guidance and wisdom for more than 20 years of my life. He has stood by and supported me during my high and low points in life and has accepted me unconditionally. God doesn’t make mistakes.

I miss my Paparoni every day of my life, but I know that he served his purpose here. He was in my life the exact amount of time as he needed to be, to impact the parts of me that needed to touch.

Even in his death he provides me strength, courage, will, drive, faith, discipline, determination, consistency, passion, follow through, honesty, patience and love; several characteristics he possessed and some of my own that were developed through this experience.

So, if you see tears in my eyes when I think of him, they may be filled with sadness, because it’s natural to miss him, but also they will be filled with joy for I am grateful for all that has transpired in my life; the good and the bad.  Even through the death of my Paparoni he helped me evolve into the person you see today.

Thank you.  You will always be Paparoni to me and I will forever be your TyzaRoni ♥

“I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – Life itself” ~ Walter Anderson

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