Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Love and focused attention ~

 Look at me when I talk to you!


Look at me when I talk to you.

Our interpretation of this statement is our choice.

I recall a time when my parents, a teacher, counselor, sibling or partner have said those words to me.  I also remember how I've said those words to others. I'm sure at the time it was said I was in trouble, seemed like I didn't care much of what was being said or it may have been a time I needed to correct my children or really needed to convey something of importance to another person.

We typically view those words as the other person trying to "control" the situation, and on the flip side I'm sure the person I was speaking to felt like I was trying to control them. What we must remember is that "How you say it is as important as what you say."

Could it be that what we really are asking for in that moment, is undivided attention - focused attention?

In my journey into discovering what LOVE is all about, I've learned a humbling thing.  I must learn to give "FOCUSED" attention to those when they speak to me, especially when conflict or correction are involved. Is it hard?  YES!  Do we become defensive? ABSOLUTELY! Can it be done? YOU BET!

Giving focused attention, we do as God does, which is LOVE!

When we give focused attention we show love. When we give that attention so deeply to where we no longer think about ourselves, but the other person, that is love. Focused attention toward another tells them, they are important, what is being said is important and more importantly that you are listening to them.  You don't need to agree with what is being said, but with focused attention you show compassion, understanding and grace; you are becoming more like Christ. When you focus on another, giving them what they need, you are focusing on God!

Focused attention means to giving your undivided attention to the that person, and in doing so you become love.

Put away the cell phone, stop looking around the room, turn the TV off, put the paper down, close your book, put your pen down, stop typing on the computer - Look the person in the eye. Squat down to look at your child.  How many times have our children said, "But your not listening!" when all they want to do is share something with us, but we are are too preoccupied with trying to watch the football game, work, texting or watching our favorite TV show?

If children desire to feel loved by our focused attention, don't you think others do as well?  Give them the time, because it shows love. Time is something we will never get back, so when we sacrifice it, it speaks loudly. It says, "I love you enough to sacrifice a part of me for you."

"Love means giving up - yielding your preferences, comfort, or time for the benefit for someone else. We can give without loving, but we can not LOVE without giving." ~ Rick Warren


  1. Nicely written. I honestly feel many of us are guilty in this area. Even though we feel we have paid attention closely their is always room for improvement. God will continue chipping away at us daily if we allow him, so we can become more like our loving Father. Good job Mija.