Mom, Mama, Ma, Mommie, Mamasita ~

One of the most priceless gifts I've had the pleasure to experience was having a little human grow inside my body, not once, but three times. 

VINCENT came into my life when I was still a baby myself; barely 18 and a Senior in high school.  He taught me quickly how to be responsible, to grow up into a mature woman and what it meant to love unconditionally.  Our relationship today isn't as close as I hoped, but I have faith that God will restore it to be exactly as it should, in His time. ♥

RYAN came a few years later.  He showed me patience, how to have fun, laugh at myself and stand up for what you believe in. He was the most difficult to bring into this world and it brings joy to my heart to see the grown responsible young man he has become and who does "little things" for his mom to show his love and affection. ♥


 

TAYLOR was the last of my three.  She taught me perseverance through difficulties, forgiveness and how to restore relationships when pain and broken trust were involved.
The transformation in her life in the last two years shows pure inspiration that regardless of circumstances, with the grace of God's hand, change is possible.  She has become confident, kind and thoughtful, often putting others first. ♥
 



As Mother's Day has passed I am filled with love in my heart as I think of my three children; what they taught me, who they helped me become and what a blessing each one is in their uniqueness. They are all have a piece of me, yet they are all very different.  Every day is Mother's Day for me. Everyday I am thankful be called, "Mom, Mama, Ma, Mommie, Mamasita" or whatever other nickname my kids give me at that moment.

I keep close to my heart the joy each child brings to me. I remind myself often what a perfect creation from God they are.  Thank you my Heavenly Father for the three gifts of life you've loaned to me. ♥

Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it. ~ Proverbs 22:6 ~

Little People have Loud Voices!

Who would ever want to admit that they lacked character, integrity, morals or values.

As a parent, would you ever want to admit this? And what if the person  who revealed this to you were your children?

I know I didn't want to admit my lack of parenting skills.  Yet for so many years, this was me and in the end my greatest teachers were little people in my life.

They taught me how damaging taking that extra drink of alcohol was as one of them would pick up the bottle at an early age.  They showed me how my  unhealthy relationships effected their relationships with others.  They opened my eyes to how lacking respect and love for myself, resulted in a lack of respect and love for themselves. They showed me how I spoke and responded toward them, when I saw how they responded and spoke to me or others.  They pleaded for me to love them and when I didn't they learned how to isolate. All along, I thought was loving them, but in reality I had hurt them.  

Sometimes the greatest teachers in our lives can be "our children."

As I began my journey and turning away from a life of unhealthiness, the results of my choices from my past came with some very big price tags.  My selfish ways of life, living for me and what benefited me, left long-term damaging issues that may never be resolved or may take a lifetime to repair.  My children endured unnecessary suffering at that time, but today I do have hope that it will be used for good.  It hurts my heart, I feel a lump in my throat and my eyes well with tears as I write this because I can feel the pain they must have gone through.

This morning I read something from Rick Warren: 

~ Hope isn’t the same as optimism. It isn’t the belief that something bad will turn out well. It’s the absolute confidence that every part of your life ultimately makes sense regardless of how it turns out this side of eternity ~

I have hope that through my selfishness, through the hurt and pain I've created toward others, that God had a miraculous plan for it. I have faith and hope that He has a plan for restoration not only in my life, but my children; and now is my time to work to restore those relationships.

What we do as parents impacts our children's lives do deeply.  Love them. Speak to them gently. Hug them. Praise them. Pick them up when they fall short. Do not condemn them. Teach them Integrity, Love, Values, Morals and Honesty.  

Of my three children, God has blessed me with a mini me. A miniature Tyza who has been unfortunate to experience a lot of my personal life hardships in her short 15 years.  She by far has been the most visually and vocally of the three to open my eyes to the pain I created because of my choices; and that is a sobering feeling.  Today I'm amending my past by the choices I make today.  I can't change what has transpired in the past, but I can be a woman of integrity today and for the rest of my life by choosing to live my life differently.  Thank you Boo Boo for the Love you give me each day, even during a time when I was difficult to love.  God blessed me with you on PURPOSE!

“We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” ~ Romans 8:28

Love and focused attention ~

 Look at me when I talk to you!

vs

Look at me when I talk to you. ♥

Our interpretation of this statement is our choice.

I recall a time when my parents, a teacher, counselor, sibling or partner have said those words to me.  I also remember how I've said those words to others. I'm sure at the time it was said I was in trouble, seemed like I didn't care much of what was being said or it may have been a time I needed to correct my children or really needed to convey something of importance to another person.

We typically view those words as the other person trying to "control" the situation, and on the flip side I'm sure the person I was speaking to felt like I was trying to control them. What we must remember is that "How you say it is as important as what you say."

Could it be that what we really are asking for in that moment, is undivided attention - focused attention?

In my journey into discovering what LOVE is all about, I've learned a humbling thing.  I must learn to give "FOCUSED" attention to those when they speak to me, especially when conflict or correction are involved. Is it hard?  YES!  Do we become defensive? ABSOLUTELY! Can it be done? YOU BET!

Giving focused attention, we do as God does, which is LOVE!

When we give focused attention we show love. When we give that attention so deeply to where we no longer think about ourselves, but the other person, that is love. Focused attention toward another tells them, they are important, what is being said is important and more importantly that you are listening to them.  You don't need to agree with what is being said, but with focused attention you show compassion, understanding and grace; you are becoming more like Christ. When you focus on another, giving them what they need, you are focusing on God!

Focused attention means to giving your undivided attention to the that person, and in doing so you become love.

Put away the cell phone, stop looking around the room, turn the TV off, put the paper down, close your book, put your pen down, stop typing on the computer - Look the person in the eye. Squat down to look at your child.  How many times have our children said, "But your not listening!" when all they want to do is share something with us, but we are are too preoccupied with trying to watch the football game, work, texting or watching our favorite TV show?

If children desire to feel loved by our focused attention, don't you think others do as well?  Give them the time, because it shows love. Time is something we will never get back, so when we sacrifice it, it speaks loudly. It says, "I love you enough to sacrifice a part of me for you."

"Love means giving up - yielding your preferences, comfort, or time for the benefit for someone else. We can give without loving, but we can not LOVE without giving." ~ Rick Warren